I have mentioned this previously, but how come whenever I wants to buy something that there is loads of stock of, the staff remove it on the day I wanna buy it?
Take today - I had me Xmas voucher for Waterstones. Now, for weeks and weeks I've been considering purchasing Alice In Sunderland. Didn't buy it in London coz I didn't have me voucher. And is there a single copy anywhere?
Like arse there is!
So, I thought I'd replace me Travel Scrabble with a proper one (as I'm not one of the 4 whore's men of the Apo Calypso). There was a dead ace deluxified one, with QUADRUPLE word score... but can I find it anywhere?
Can I buggery sod as like!
Same goes for the fancy wooden scrabble. And the lazy susan turntabley thing.
Lazy Susan indeed. I bet she got a bit pissed off when her mates invented it! Imagine, your best mate invents something to rotate a plate, and not only names it after you, but lets the world know you can't be arsed to turn a plate yourself!
I don't know why anyone bothered inventing one - they could have just used a record player. Or a DJ set with twin decks for 2 dishes! And if they wanted to be even lazier, then set it to 78rpm, and watch the food fly off the turntable and onto the feasters plates!
Mind you, you'd need some sort of funnel system to direct the food onto the plates, rather than a 360° splatterfest.
I'll have a play with that concept tonight - I'll invent the Lazy Ass Xymon, that not only rotates on a turntable, but also fling food from turntable to plate!
I'm gonna be rich!
