I'm vexed by our vending machines, and disturbed by drinking fountains.
Now, an ever popular yellow sticky pad has been posted upon the dinks dispenser. Apparently, we're not supposed to let fluid fall into the drip tray, as it buggers up the machine. So it begs the question: Of what purpose is a drip tray and overspill drain on a machine?
Clearly nothing, for there's nowt at all the the water fountain! Once you've filled your cup and ceased button depressment, there is a final bit of dribblage (not unlike an incontinent old chap with a leaky old chap).
Result: Water all over the floor like a gents bog on a drunken night out.
Apparently, it's all the fault of them furriners and their strange customs!
Seems that there is an equivalent 'male bonding' thing going on with out offshore partners. You know as how lovely ladies oft pop off to The Ladies with a gaggle of other ladies (in case some lecherous lezza mugs them in the ladies)? Well, there would appear to be a similar ritual abroad amongst our male offshore partners!
Seems to go like this. It's time for coffee, and in the UK we tend to ask if anyone would like one, and go to the machine and get coffees for all. Not so for these furriners! When one fancies coffee, they get all of them to go and gather at the machine. Then, they each get out a steaming plastic cup of fag-ash tasing fluid mixed with oil. They each take a solitary sip, then tip the rest of the cup into the drip tray/drain unit.
Now, I'm not sure if this is a religeous thing, a quaint custom, or if working as a contractor drives you mad, but it seems a bit odd for everyone to pour away a whole mug of tea bar a small sip. And they do it every day! Sometimes more than once!
Clearly I'm missing something. Perhaps me & my team should all go to the canteen and buy a bacon sarnie each, take a bite, and lob the rest at the serving wench.
Serving wench drenched in bacon...
...Nooooo - shades of Ozone again!
Bring on Xymon Mayo...
