Not many people realise that before he's already tried to film Schindler's List back in the seventies, and because it was all about Nazi death camps, it was called Jews. Unfortunately, a secretary was too busy being rogered over the desk when typing up the title page of the screenplay, and accidentally called it Jaws.
And because the studio favoured a killer shark over holocaust movies, the tide of history turned.
...of fish from foreign lands
Yikes! Transylvanian terror strikes Caistor! Looks like The Count in Caistor Castle has been out and about and vampirising the fishies! For on Caistor beach, prehistoric vampire fish are on the prowl! Looks more like a shit weasle to me, but I wouldn't go paddling if I were you, not if you don't want this beastie rearing it's head at you and turning you into a creature of the night
...of cabbages that ming
Well, not exactly, but salads. For in a twist upon the Tarantula In The Bananas From The Bahamas, there has now been found frogs sealed in salads! I don't know, they can't get through the EuroTunnel, but smuggling illegal immigrants in packets of lollo rosso is a bit steep! Besides, there's no lavvies in a packet - I don't want some trafficked sex worker wiping their arse on my rocket (fnarr fnarr!)
If they spent more time checking their produce, rather than mincing about and singing the name of salady elements, and waving celery in each others faces, we might be able to tuck into out crisp crunchy salad without the crunch of crunchy frog.
And not one from the Whizzo Chocolate Company either!
"We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed and the sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth triple cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose"
