It's all very well for these wayside wenches, tarting themselves up like a dogs dinner and traversing up the M1 for a bit of the ole "ride for a ride" dogging action to work up an appetite for a roadside mobile burger, but it's come to something when motorway munters decide the name of cereals!
And we all know about them hitch-hikers - cereal killers, every man, jack & woman of 'em!
Anyhoo, there she sits in her deckchair in dreamy post-coital revreie, when up pulls her next victim. After explaing the excellent name of his new cereal: "Not Made From Wheat Made From Oats Instead Abix", the hitch-hiking harlot dashes any pride in his product with a dreary "Should've called it Oatibix".
Where's the fun in that, you miserable sow! Oatibix, indeed! Just coz she got a punter to sow his wild oats and a deluge of dirty doggers to fill their boots in a muddy layby orgy doesn't give her the right to ruin what is, after all, a really cool name for a cereal!
I know some ladies of the wannabe WoG* variety may feel somewhat used and abused after being spit roasted in the boot of a car, especially if the performance was something of a let down, mayhap she would feel the need to bring men "down to Earth". With a bump. And a clattering of crockery.
She's just jealous coz her golden pips just don't cut it anymore... probably her norks are too withered to even dent the foil on her Pot Nipple...
I love the idea of a cereal called NMFWMFOIA. Rebrand it say I! Ooooh, I may just have to create a BaseFuck group petitioning such a change!
Talking of WoGs... I thing perhaps it needs changing. With all these Nikki from Pig Botherer types shagging their way through a pantheon of soccer and rugby stars, perhaps they should be labelled WIGWAMs: Wannabe Ignorant Girlfriend, Wife And Mistress. Married to a footballer, having a bit on the side with a Rugger who's single, and nobbing some married tennis player.
Or something...
* AS I'VE STATED BEFORE: YOU CANNOT BE A WAG - YOU'RE EITHER A WIFE OR A GIRLFRIEND, NOT BOTH. YOU CAN HAVE A COLLECTION OF WAGS, BUT NOT AN INDIVIDUAL WAG. AND WHAT ABOUT FIANCEES? SURELY THE CORRECT COLLECTIVE NOUN 'W,FAGS' - WIVES, FIANCEES AND GIRLFRIENDS?
SEEMS TO ME THAT A WANNABE WOG STARTS OFF AS A G AMONGST THE W'FAGS, MOVES UP TO AN F, BEFORE FINALLY BECOMING A W.
THEN AGAIN, FOOTBALLERS & THEIR PARTNERS TEND TO BE AS THICK AS PIGSHIT, SO IS IT ANY WONDER THEY CAN'T SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH!
