Now, I have previously made mention of the ways of the Illuminati, sending their minions out to spy on the general populace and report back to Their Masters and subjugate the Working Man via brainwashing by insidiously slipping subliminal messages of obedience through the common folks televisual fare of reality telly, such as Pig Botherer and Jeremy Kyle.
Well, clearly having tunneling tibetans listening under the floorboards with a leeching glass isn't good enough - they're shedding their Edgar suits and geting a first hand view of their worker caste of scummy mummies and workshy jackoff-the-lads.
For today, it's reported that one of the Illuminati popped up in a bag of bananas in a Tesco in Essex, where as all the world knows, the chavviest scum dwell. The men a-dripping with burberry, thick gold bling and thick as pigshit. Their harridans painted up like picasso's in their white stillettos and masses pink, and thick gold earblings.
But it doesn't stop there! Oh no! Our reptillian overlords have joined forces with other Secret World Orders, namely entomological entities! It would seem that Costa Rican bananas are the luxury liner of the day for hidden governments, for a 5inch long elephant beetle also snuck into stores to sociologically spy on its servants!
That'd put the wind up Willy Wanker's chocolate starfish and no mistake, if the Oompa-Loompas threw aside their human casing and went the rampage, crushing the cocoa with their carapace and pointing their pincers with revolutionary aplomb to their brethren to take control of confectionary production plants to douse the choccie with sophoriphic drugs to keep mankind under foot...
That's it! No more Tesco's for me! It's back to Asda, where World Dominators can't bend you to their will and won't let you put a nudie bum on a cake, but will serve cake shaped like jugs.
Equal opportunities, say I. Stuff these world dominators...
...get me some world dominatrix's instead!
