Ah, Child of Vodyanoi, how spooky you seemed in 1981.
Alas, a fat man in shiny leather isn't all that scary.
Let alone be mistaken for a pod monster chimera with dodgy teeths from the planet Mars under the sea.
Although I would want him pouncing on me on a dark, misty golf course! He's not having a hole in one at MY expense, thank you very much!
Och, yeh wee sassenach!
And how come the coastgard are as dumb as a box of wet mouses?
3 of them inside - "Now, you guys STAY TOGETHER"...
"Hoots mon, the Geiger Counter be clicking"
"It be the monster! We're all doomed!"
"Och, it's going away now"
"Hoots mon! Noo the heating's been turned off"
"Och, now ye'll have to tek yeself across the misty darkened courtyard, to yon distant shed to swich it on again. On yer own".
"Aye, I'll be off then. Save me a wee dram, shortbread biscuit, haggis and Maynards Wine Gums for when I return"
* unsurprisingly get "'et" by the Russian gimp *
"Hoots mon, what he dooin oot there?"
"Crimminy - he's been 'et!"
"Noo it's in the hoose! Och, it's got me! Mah hooman joose be loose aboot his hoose! Aaaarrrggh!"
* remaining coastgard shoot it with a flare gun and it runs ootside *
"Och, ahm all aloon in the hoose with a fearsome beastie! I'd better try and crawl throo the smallest windoo so I can get stuck and get 'et! Och noo! Now I'm stuck! Crivvens! I'm being et!!"
Early russian shadowships, and no vorlons in Scotchland...
