Go to Starbucks - great big feck off notice in the window: "TEMPORARILY CLOSED DUE TO FLOODING. YOUR NEAREST STARBUCKS IS XXXX. SORRY BABES. LUV ME, THE PRETTY BARISTA BABE XXX MWAH MWAH¹".
And so, I temporarily went to HMV, then returned on the offchance they'd turned off the taps and finished mopping up.
No such lucks. However, hours of entertainment watching illiterate Gormsters getting confused by a locked door.
A pattern of gormless gormsterness appears:
1. Gormster approaches the door.
2. Unlike me, who's intelligent, gormster fails to see the notice in front of their face.
3. Gormster tugs on door that fails to open. Multiple tuggage ensues as the dumbass thinks that perhaps the door is stuck.
4. Suddenly, the gormster sees the notice (or someone points it out).
5. Gormsters attempt to read the notice.
6. Gormsters stand back in confusion.
7. Gormsters re-try the door.
8. Gormsters attempt to re-read the notice.
9. Much discussion about how it's locked. And on a Saturday too! It's ridiculous, having to walk to Haymarket!
10. Gormsters re-attempt another door opening.
11. Gormster mill about in confusion - confounded by a locked door! What to do! Mill aboout giving the storefront suspicious glances, before ambling off.
And what's worse is when one Gormster has tugged, read and re-tugged, when another gormster steps in to have a go at the door, presumably under the impression that the current gormster is too enfeebled to open a door.
Even worse when an approaching Gormster has been told, "It's closed", then proceeds to gormsterly attempt to enter as previously mentioned.
Still, I wasn't surprised, when returning from HMV to Chapelfield Mall entrance, there was a long queue of gormsters waiting for the automatic door to open, and no-one using the normal doors.
It does make you feel somewhat superior when you breeze through a door, and then auto-door-queueing gormsters suddenly realise you can actually open doors manually!
As I have made mention of before.
¹ SIGNOFF WORDING BY THE BARISTA BABE MAY NOT BE 100% ACCURATE .
