So much for cracking down on them there crims!
Or bumcracked camel-toed quims.
Although I've nothing against camel toed quims... I know what I'd like against them though!
Anyhoo, during them riots, some harlot sent her mate out to loot her some designer JD sports-short chavwear. However, Crime doesn't pay, and she was susbsequently jailed for 5 months for wearing The Stolen Shorts of Chavviness. Not for recieving stolen goods, but for crimes of fashion.
However, some people want it both ways, and not in a spit-roasting sense either.
"Ooooh, these crims must pay. Crack down on them - set an egg sample! Thwow the book at 'em! Severe, harsh penalties, that's what we wants...
...but not too harsh. Jail's a bit excessive for crime, innit. Can't we just slap them on the wrist and send 'em home?"
So the tartlet has been sprung from Joliet and given 75 hours unpaid work to do instead.
Disgraceful! What kind of punishment is that!
Divest the dame of her shorts, say I! Parade her through the town all underdressed down below.
And just to be on the safe side, it's better to assume she's also shoplifted her shirt, burgled her bra and nicked her knickers. Yeah! Get all these "fashionista" lady looters and strip them of their rainment and make 'em walk the streets in shame whilst people toss their plums at 'em.
That's what they did in them there Medieval Tymes. And they put them in The Stocks. Or was it stockings? With thigh high PVC leather boots.
Actually, make them run in slo-mo like that there Baywatch, as I capture their ordeal for future perusal later (to remind me never to thieve TopShop).
Nudie nubile burglarettes in kinky leather boots and studded collars, besplattered with plum juice as they jiggle about in slo-mo down the street.
Too harsh a punishment my polished helmet...
