Late night
Come home.
Work sucks (I know!)
She left me roses by the stairs...
Hold on a minute... If by some ludicrous quirk of fate I managed to attract a lovely lady of my own, I would be most puzzled by such activity.
Leaving foliage on the stairs isn't the most romantic of gestures! There you are, plodding up the staircase, when SLIPPAGE! A trip upon a mountain of stems and stamens and petals, and it's a tumbling down the steps ye go!
Causing your lover to plunge arse over tit down the stairs to lie in a heap of broken bones with your lifeblood leaking all over the floor can hardly be construed as a 'come on'!
Even dolling yerself up in some latex nursey outfit is hardly likely to rouse you from your bed of pain and torment - and it's a tad embarassing if the paramendics parachute in and find the missus tinkering with yer trews as you go into spasms and a-twitching with the dislocations and the trapped nerves!
"Surprises let me know she cares" my best hat!
More likely wants to get her gold digga mitts on the life insurance!
Say it ain't so!
I will not go!
Turn the lights on
And carry me to the hospital.
Nee nah nee nah nee nah (nah nah nah)
