Everyone knows about S.E.T.I., and how The Greybeards are using giant satellite dishes to finds signs of space monsters by trying to pick up broadcasts of the martian equivalent of The Archers.
Unfortunately, the gormsters misread their brief, and have spent all this time & cash pointing their RadioShack Crystal Reciever set at Tibet, listening for the YETI.
Luckily, they've realised their mistake, and are using the top brains of Britain. They've hit on the idea that we could transmit a message to the nearest earth like planet, and see if they reply! And who better to come up with a First Contact message to an alien race than people proficient in communications?
The highly experienced and worldy wise users of Social Network site Bubo, of course!
Contrary to popular opinion, PubeHole is not just the bastard offspring of scummy mummies scrounging off benefits, they're all high end achievers. And so they collected a myriad of messages to our Intergalactic Neighbours of planet Gleise 581c. Here's one of them:
Hi im nicole. my ambitions for when i am older is to perform, i love anything to do with drama and someday i would love to appear on the west end stage, in a hit show.i also wouldnt mind doing a few television programs whether it is as a extra or a main part i dont mind i would love to appear on doctor who as i love it. anyway laters.Nicole x
Somehow, as a First Contact with potential overlords hell bent on exterminating us with laser guns and eating us to death, this doesn't really give the best impression!
I don't think Bubo were trying to make contact at all. I reckon that They Already Walk Among Us, and it's all a front! The clue lies in these barely literate chavtastic ramblings - they're really Pod People From The Planet Mars (or Gliese 581c) and 'networking' with their mates back home! Social Networking - Spacial Networking, more like!
I'll just bet Uncle Axazeer-5 is probably dead proud of l'il Nicole wanting to be a star. She must've failed the audition on Interstellar Plop Idle, so she's having a bash at taking over humanoid identity in order to colonize the Earth by impregnating groupies on the X-File Fuckedher tour.
Or something.
