Forget Hip-Hop, Hip Op is the new Gansta!
Or should that be Nansta!
Seems that over in the good ole US of A, over at Lake Worth, there are rappin' wrinkies poppin' a cap at 'da pigs' in MTV stylee music videos.
Grannies should be loveable kindly white haired old ladies eating Baklava, not gansta granies charging around in balaclava's givin' it all da dizzle an' shit.
Naturally, when the fun lovin' centarian criminal got posted on YouTube, flashing da cash an' da bling and waving a shoota at da camera, yeah, she like, totally claims that it's her grandson blood wot is like, pimpin' her out as a video moll.
Now, people are up in arms over this, but just why is it unacceptable for octogenarian mafiosi to keep on going? They don't all die from being whacked (a few enjoy in on a regular basis. In dungeons. And in nasty nazi uniforms...). But it surely must make the Sunday trip to visit Nan a tad scary.
"Hi Gran, what's for tea"
"Spaghetti Bollocknaise"
"Ha ha gran. You gettin' old! It's bolognaise!"
"Nah blood, Phallus "The Nadgers" Nobmuncher tried to take me out, so he's now Plums in Pasta."
"Shit gramma, we don't do that shit no more!"
"Yeah, I know you all 'Goodfellas' now, placing Barry White dolls in breadbins instead of Mousse in the bed. Eeeeh, I remember Fingers 'The Digit' Clitflicker, oooh he's in hospital with arthritis now..."
Nanna's in Da Hood! or Nanna's in Da Ward?
Check it!
Word.
[EDIT]: After a bit of thought, rappin' nannas are all very well, but you don't want one visiting your candyshop and a-tasting of your lollipop.
And getting a milkshake off your Gran is just plain wrong! They say that you can't teach your grandmother to suck eggs, to which I would advise against in case she offers to teach you in the ways of titwank love. But then, she'd have to charge.
And just why would anyone even WANT to have the skill of egg-sucking, let alone train your grannie in such activity? Is there some underground ovarial fetish club where geisha grannies gather to perfect the art of sucking without breaking the shell.
Who knows?
Gran, probably!
