Now, there's huge controversy over The War Against Terror, and how (although they do a sterling job) they should bring Our Troops back home.
Stuff the troops - what about out unsung Heroes? The Forces are there because that's their job. They sign up because they get a bit of a stiffy when handling guns, want to shoot people, and can nob each other up the bum in the baracks.*
Not so the humble weekend angler!
All he's after is a few hours away from his nagging wife & mistress, where he can read porn by the side of a river and get hit on by drunken female students.
Instead, they're pressed into the front lines, tackling the latest in Jyhaddi Terror plans...
KILLER CATFISH!!!
With everyone on the lookout for suicide bombers and the like, Osama and his fanatical followers have ousted the Hindus from the Great Kali River and are breeding mutant muslim seamonsters in their place!
Seems that part of the Hindu funeral rite is based on Viking Lore, and the dead send off to a Vishnu Valhalla via a firey watery grave. So, these fanatical fundamentalists are now using it as a cover to breed their behemoths and subjugate the western ocean!
They've been bulking up their genetically modified hybrid seabeasties on a diet of Islammi Fried Infidel until they reach the point when they start leaping out the the lake and biting the hands off their captors. Once the fishies are addicted to decadent Western flesh, these hook handed warriors of Allah release them to poach people off the riverbank.
And all that's holding back the tide is Britsh Angler Jeremy Wade-not-to-far-into-the-river who's single handedly capturing these terrorist turbots and it's Bin-Laden brethren!
So next time you pass an anger on the riverbank, don't tease him about the size of his maggot or the length of his rod whilst jiggling your bazookas at him - top up his thermos, give him a new porno and encourage him to keep up the good work.
Our shores are safe, thanks to the good old angling community.
Just don't let it slip down the Mosque when fishing season's over...
* WHICH ISN'T BEING GAY AT ALL - MALE BONDING, INITIATIONS RITUALS AND ANAL ROGERINGS ARE NOT HOMOSEXUAL IN ANY WAY, APPARENTLY.
