Now, it's well documented that Certain Celebs only got their celebrity status through their underworld Mafiosi connections, such as Frank Sinatra (allegedly), but who would've though that these shady Dons would still try and get cash out of their stooges after death?
Seems that some Godfather was a bit miffed when The Walrus Of Lurve died from being fat, and was addicted to the gravy train (unlike Baz who was addicted to the gravy boat).
So, in order to keep the bankroll flowing, they called in The Tall Man. Now, as everyone knows, The Tall Man is famous for two things. His balls, and... OK then, three things. His balls, and his ability to take deaded folks, shrink them to miniature size, resurrect them and force them into slavery. Unfortunately, The Tall Man has a bit of a geekasm over Star Wars, and had a fetish for dolling up his dwarves as Jawas*.
Luckily, The Mob insisted that the Oompa-Loompa'd Baz kept his trademark outfit - but something went wrong. All his rotundity got removed, and he can't adapt to being suddenly slim, so he's quite stiff in his movements. Or rigor mortis set in, so he's a tad rigid in places.
Of course, due to him now looking & moving like Little Frank with an moveable cakehole, they couldn't get him back on the musical circuit, so now he's been added to the pantheon of threats.
Overdue on your protection money? They used to bung an antelopes head in yer bed or something as a warning, but not any more. Given his moniker of The Walrus Of Lurve, they play on this by placing him in bathtubs to perform oral sex on yer missus before giving her a damn good nobbing.
Now, pudenda pleasurement by puppets may be all very well for bathing beauties, but it's puts the blokes nose out of joint when his missus is forced into necrophliac dwarf mannequin lovin' just coz he's 50p short!
Not to mention the vetriloquistical taunting of the hubby.
There's missus, squiming about in ecstacy, when up he pops up from his watery mingemunch lunch to announce "That's gooooooooood" then proceeding to engage in fornication with his rigor motis'd rod.
And then they broadcast the event during You've Been Framed!
Oooooh, how those untouchable mafia types like to poor scorn upon the law...
Unlike The Untouchables who liked to score porn off the Mafia...
Or something...
* I CAN'T ABIDE THOSE JAWAS! DISGUSTING CREATURES!
