Honestly, how do some people get employed to come up with business requirements?
"Oooh, Mr Owain, I have some requirements for you"
"Aye, and what be those requirements..."
"Well, we want a generic set of documents that any brand can use. The idea is rather than have bespoke documents for various brands, we have a one-size-fits-all mailing pack to cut down on maintenance and errors. And to keep consistent across what's being sent out."
"Sounds good to me! In fact, I have such a set ready, all I need is the Brand codes so they generate the generic pack and just change the brand name, etc"
"Oh, the documents have to be tailored to each brand, so they retain 'tone of voice'. In fact, they need to be indentical to what's being issued at the moment, as they've been signed off by the client"
"Eh? But didn't you just say..."
"Oh, and the documents need to be different to what's being issued at the moment."
"So... You want a generic set of identical documents to be shared each brand, which are different for each brand and identical to the old documentation, which is different to the old documentation."
"Yup"
"You don't see a three way confict there?"
"Umm... no?"
"On the new system. You want Brand A and Brand B to get exactly the same letter. No differences between the two (apart from the Brand Name).."
"Yes..."
"And that letter is to be different for Brand A, with Brand B getting a totally different one... "
"Yes..."
"And these new letters must be be identical to the ones on the old system..."
"Yes..."
"And on the new system, they're to have different wordings to those on the old system..."
"Exactly!"
"Can you put that in writing, just so we're clear on this..."
"Done - here's a requirements document with it all in!"
And fuck me, they have as well!
And people wonder why they never get what they ask for!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
