Clearly the Jeremy Kyle generation are a few car keys short of a swingers soiree!
There was all this squit about that little girl going missing, and then found in a drawer of the divan, with her uncle in another drawer. I’m no expert on the construction of bedding, but how can a fully grown bloke be lurking in divan drawers?
Unless, of course, said Uncle is an Oompa Loompa.
Anyhoo, the latest news is that the gormster of a Parent got confused with telly and real life, for she watched that Shameless programme. Now, not having seen the programme, I can proclaim myself an expert, and assume the scabrous chavacious brood depicted upon the show are their role models.
It seems that on the Shameless, they hid one of their kids and pretended it were nabbed to get wodges of cash... and it worked. So, stereotypical council skiver sees it and thinks "Cor! That were dead good that. I reckon I could do that. They didn’t get caught" and propmptly puts their idiotic idea in into practise with the idea of scamming some of the cash the McScams have already scammed off everyone else*!
Gormsters!
You’d think even someone with as much limited intellect as a Scummy Mummy living off’ve the council with it’s horde of spawn and wastrel partners and relatives wouldn’t be as thick as to copy such an outlandish plot from the telly! And even if they were, you wouldn’t expect their lone brain cell to kick in and blurt out a confession ’secretly’ to their mates in front of a DC.
Mind you, when they said the woman was a DC, she probably thought she was talking about comics, coz that’s, like, litchrichur, innit. Beano and Nuts fer the kids, Spiderman for uz adults, and on Sundayz we get the Sunday papers - Viz and the Sunday Spurt. I ain’t fick!
I’m now off to watch Hollyoaks! There must be a foolproof money making scam going on I can put into action, without fear of capture!
Mwah ha ha!
* WHICH DIDN’T WORK ANYWAY, COZ THAT CASH WAS TO PAY FOR THEIR BILLS AND MORTGAGE, TILL THEY GOT CAUGHT OUT, SO NOW IT’S TO PAY DETECTIVE AGENCIES TO HIRE WITNESSES, OR AVOID THE POLICE AND PORTUGAL AT ANY COST.
GRRRRRR - WHO LEGS IT OFF TO BRUSSELS, JUST TO AVOID THE POLICE, AND THEN REFUSE TO GO BACK TO EVEN DO A RECONSTRUCTION. SO MUCH FOR "WE’LL DO ANYTHING TO HELP"... YEAH, RIGHT, APART FROM REFUSE TO ANSWER KEY QUESTIONS, REFUSE TO GO BACK AND COME UP WITH A NEW STORY EACH TIME THE POLICE FIND HOLES IN IT.
AND WHO THE HELL LETS 2 NEGLIGENT PARENTS AND OFFICIAL SUSPECTS OF POSSIBLY HARMING THEIR CHILD GO TO SPEAK AT A CONFERENCE ON CHILD SAFETY? MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SENT ROSE WEST ON A SEMINAR ABOUT LODGER SAFETY WHEN SHE WAS A SUSPECT. GRRRRRRRRR!
