It seems some dozy doxy on The Government has been ogling that Gerard Russel - not after being scorched by Northern Dragons before swanning off to gay Paree to live in the sewers, but in his briefest of briefs, all oiled up and rippling his pecs in Thermopolæ (which I believe is the Grecian equivalent of Monopoly).
Yes, 300 spartans in sparce speedos has got Jacqui Smith frothing at the gash, so she wants a British equivalent to hold back the hordes of hunchbacked fundamentalists and kick hook handed clerics down wells.
In the latest in The War Against Terror (or TWAT for short), we're going to forget about crime, and have a crack team of 300 dedicated warrior plods, winkling out radical suicide bombers to make into a decorative wall in Travulgar Square. Buff Bobbies in black briefs and red capes charging through the streets like something out of The Full Monty... costumed cops putting the Fun back into Fundamentalist plotting.
...although somehow I can't quite see Reg Hollis in this getup (though I wouldn't mind PCs Keane, Green and Armstrong in flimsy white togas. In the rain. But not roadside nob-gobbler Taylforth, thank you very much!)
Not very practical though, those briefs. You don't want to be chasing down Osama Bin Liner with your truncheon waving about left, right and centre! Might as well bring back The Empire and the Devils in Skirts!
If we can see off Bung'dit Din and his Burpas, we can easily see off the likes of Candyman Abu Hamza.
300 indeed!
