...and promptly suffocated to death due to trunkial blockage.
Todays puzzlement stems from going to look at a new chart, and being told "Ooooooh Trunky Wanna Bun!" (although I almost got sidetracked by the concept of Disco lights instead of traffic lights. Instead of Red, they could go into light-based apoplexy and you could boogie in your brum until the lights go red again. In fact, traffic lights look just like the hired disco van man's lightset he plonks down either side of The Dex before aurally assaulting Agadoo upon the festivities. However, Disco Traffic Lights and the evils of the Hired Disco fiend will have to wait until another blogging).
Now, from whence does this bun relatated trunkage originate? At first thought, it would be because stereotyped elephants scoff buns - but that don't tie in with me wanting to know about something. At a push, you could say it's because if you stand near an elephant, it'll molest you with it's trunk in search of your buns.
Which would make the phraseology more along the lines of "Trunky want to shove his trunk right up your arse or sniff your crotch", which doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
Then, I thought it should be based on JJ Merrick, nicknamed Trunky because of the length of his tumourescent todger. Perhaps he demanded sticky buns topped with human beings the size of amoebas as payment for people to gawk at him all nudie, waving his schlong about, pretending to be the Man With An Elephants Trunk For A Cock.
Or something.
Then it occurred to me: It's actually Chunky want a bun, for todays kids are so obese that the mere mention of Bun, Cake or doughnut will have them waddling over to find out where the creamy treats are stored. In fact, given todays councilscum mums shoving Lard Pie and Chips at their chimps through the bars of the educational menagerie, it's more like Chunky Wanna Bun Shop!
They're great, stereotypical councilscum mums!
"I ain't 'avin skool giv me kids veg and fruit, coz they giv ya cansa. Kids need crisps, chocolate, chips and pies. Neva did me no harm, and I'm only 25 stone. Besides, it give me sumfin ter do at dinnertime, coz there's nowt on the telly between Trisha and Rikki Lake"
I wonder if it's different for posh kids. Does the schoolma'aaaaaaam insist on serving up McPorky Burgers so the posh kids can get integrate with da yoof, whilst spindly mumsies force crudités through the topiary fencing?
Crudités, indeed! They had some in our canteen - it's a pot of raw veg! Typical of these ponceyarses who call mash "creamed potato".
"One has crudités for luncheon"
"Better get that looked at love"
"No, I mean crudités - look on one's plate"
"No, that's sticks of raw veg you twatarse wankshaft."
I've gone off breadsticks now. I want crudités au wheat!
