Who can forget the now legendary Tummy Time series, where the Honey Monster teamed up with John Cooper-Clarke
(relive the magic here:
and here:
)
... until too many children read Ten Years In An Open Necked Shirt and began reciting "You Never See A Nipple In The Daily Express" in front of the Teacher.
... but from leading kids into foul mouthed punk poetry, the Honey monster is now blatently advocating norks galore for brekkie!!
Quite clearly he's getting it on with FHM magazines* High Street Honey Monsters, for what does a bowl of sugar puffs remind him of?
The "golden pips" of a sunshine princess!
Now, I'm not familiar with the Sunshine branch of royalty, but I'm pretty certain that "golden pips" on a lady is usually a reference to her Darling Buds, her Puppies Noses, her Sensitive Ladylump Milk Dispensers.
Yes, the Honey Monster looks at a bowl of sugar puffs and sees a huge bowl filled to the brim with nipples.
Surely, this is the first sign of psychopathic behaviour - illlusions of mounds of mammaries for breakfast, and he's off on some cereal killers rampage?
Me, I look at a bowl of sugar puffs, and think "Hmmm. Not enough Sugar Puffs..." or "Why doesn't The Apprentice do a show to market a cereal called Sir Alan Sugar Puffs, with the 'golden pips' moulded into the shape of the bolshy businessbloke in leather bondage gear?".
Or something...
Althogether now (but not in the alltogether. Unless you're a lovely lady):
Sugar Puffs, Sugar Puffs HUP!
Honey coated puffs in a milky bath
Put 'em in your mouth and they make you laugh**
Kept in the cupboard taken out for breakfast
Spoon's best friend and the fridge's favourite
Huff! Puff! Huff-puff!
Huff! Puff! Huff-puff!
Wheaty chums that settle in transit
Golden pips of a sunshine princess
* OR, TO GIVE IT ITS FULL TITLE, FOR HIS MASTURBATION MAGAZINE...
** SEE - I TOLD YOU THE HONEY MONSTER WAS A CEREAL KILLER - IF THEY MAKE YOU LAUGH WHEN YOU PUT 'EM IN YOUR GOB, YOU'LL CHOKE TO DEATH ON A MOUTHFUL OF A SUNSHINE PRINCESS'S GOLDEN NIPS! BASTARD!
