Well, you learn something new every day!
Well all know some people can't stay dead, and now aminals are at it!
As I had time off over Xmas, being a fat, sad, lonely git, I had to sit through {shudder} DAYTIME TELLY!
And apparently, next week, Jeremy Beadle is appearing on Dickinson's Real Deal...
...who I though died ages ago (Beadle, that is, not the orange faced mincefarmer), yet he's appearing on up-to-date telly shows like Elvis hiding in Priscilla's boudoir all these years!
And coz Sunday is the morst boring day in existence, I ended up seeing {huge shudder} Last Of The Summer Whine, where the majority of the cast have been pronounced dead previously!
And now, I hear of a beaver rampage in Devon!
Now, according to Sky News, Beavers became extinct in the 16th century, after hunters trapped them for fur. So how the hell can an 400+ year old extint aminal be on the prowl?
Now, the extinct beastie is often pictured as gnawing down trees, building dams, and serving up taters and trout to interdimensional travellers.
But secretly, in Devon, someone has built their own version of Jurassic Beaver Park, and managed to recreate 24 of the beasties.
Although, it seems they're more like velociraptors. And just like in the movie, there's been a shut-off of the electric fences, and one has escaped and on the prowl - stomping down trees like a bronto sore arse (or is it a diplody curse?).
Of course, this beast has to be brought down - otherwise we'll have man eating beavers on the prowl (and I'm not talking Chicago's or Mercy on a Saturday night, dance, I like the way you move, pretty baby), so they've set a honeytrap.
Now, I thought a honeytrap was for bears that live in 12 Achey-Breaky Wood, but it's apparently they've nicked and idea from Jurassic Park 2. Instead of baby scent, they're luring the behemoth beaver via a females scent.
So, a honeytrap is where they entrap the subject with the smell of a female beaver.
Like Colin Stagg.
Although I'd've thought they'd've used dough for him.
Buck their ideas up, Merli...
