Recall Al-Quaeda's recent giant fish breeding terror tactic? Well, they've upped sticks from plaguing the pygmies, and are now assaulting the Ozzies!!
And the latest weapon on the infidel is the conjoined cod!
Australia is under attack by bi-cranial bass - two heads of vicious needle sharp teeth to drag Bruce's into the surf and feast upon their unbelieving BBQ filled bellies!
And how, exactly, are they breeding this multi-bonced menace of the seas? Apparently, it's because of 'Macadamia nuts'!
Contrary to popular belief, Macadamia is not that thing out of The Midnight Garden - That's PackAMac, the popular pocket anorak. This Macadamia is some Islamic fundamentalist with a thing for trying to get fish into his nuts.
Now, there's always an unlikely explanation for visits to doctors - Vicars have spuds extracted from their bum after falling onto kitchen tables whist nudily putting up some curtains, for example. But this Jyhaddi lad is a bit suspect.
Whilst nudily cleaning the aquarium, he visited the lavatory with a fish in his hand. As you do. Somehow, when filling the font with weak tea, the fish accidentally "swam up his cock".
Bollocks - he was trying to shag a fish in the bogs, like some angling George Michael! And in the process, it found it's way into his nutsack, and got preggers.
And now he's fathered a spawning of double headed fish-folk, and Ozzies are paying the price!
Those pesky terrorists will stoop at nothing to bring down Western civillization...
