Blimey! I'm glad I got me eyes tested when I did!
Seems that the new eye tests are a bit extreme for my tastes. Rather than have you look at a screen and read weeny letters, they take your eyes out to examine them!!
And to ensure that they're up to scratch, they sure put them through their paces.
And how do they check that your visual organs are healthy? They bung stick them on the necks of teeny cybertronic 118-118 type emaciated robots, and put them in a minature gym.
And to ensure your eyes aren't cheating by sneakily scoffing a scone instead of working out, the optician can whip his eyes out and bung them on the necks of a pair of minature beefcakes, beaming back the action to his ocular obits!!
I wouldn't mind, but I refuse to lob out me pupils, so that some pervy whitecoat can bung them on the bodies of nubile leotarded oiled up gyratory strumpets and have them re-enact Eric Prydz's "Call On Me" video!
I don't know - one opticians abducts ocular deficient attendees for Hostel torture porn amusement, and now another uses your eyes for their own nefarious pervosity!!
I dread to think what I'll be subjected to in 2 years time...
