There's a plough trawling through t'streets of Slough
You know, them modern unbearded Greybeards of the future may well have a point, for who can say when traipsing though soggy slush that they haven't thought that it felt like wading though the splattered remains of a cyclopean jellyfish that has fallen from the skies?
Not many!
And they'd be right too - for what falleth from the skies be not "Snow" - it's Götteravaparti - The "Munt-Up Of The Gods", and no party is complete without Jelly & I scream... or the deities delicacy of SKY TRIFLE!!!!
It is from the Nordic Legends of Old that we get our modern interpretation of Trifle, from when the Black Rocks stood guard against the cold sea, in the dark night that was very long, when the Men of the Northlands sat by their great log fires and told tales of the Food of the Gods.
The basis of all Trifle is Jelly - and what more popular than the Giant Skybound Jellyfish! Ah, I hear you cry! Jelly doesn't taste fishy at all!! This is because we only symbolically represent the fishiness, for what do we bung into jelly for the fish element?
Boudoir Ladyfingers! Now, you're probably thinking what on Earth Ladies fingers in boudoirs have to do fish*. Well, it's obvious really... they are sponge fingers - and what are sponges? Only aquatic based poriferans feeding on crustacians... and basically is a fish! And what so sponges have in the middle? Jelly! The Jammy Dodger of the cleansing world (which is much better than a jam rag of the... oh, well, you get the picture!!)
But what of Custard? Aha! Who is the most prolific custardeer of all... only Birds! And where do you find birds... flying in the sky alongside the floating jellyfishies! Creamed canaries and sunbirds, drenched in sunlight and bathed in the golden showers of Aphrohaircut be the basis of this most vanilla essenced layer.
And just who else is big in the Custard world... those makers of Creamed Rice - Ambrosia! And what is Ambrosia? Only the neckhair of the Gods!! The Amber neckhair, in fact! O-ho!!
And it that snow on the ground? Is it heck as like! That's the celestial equivalent of Dream Topping, that is!! And what go Gods provide? DREAMS! Although, in these credit crunch times, it looks like they've forgone proper whipped cream in favour of cheapo ærosol substiture, what evaporates as soon as it gets slightly warm.
And have The Council been gritting - no way, the lazy shifters! That's not Grit, it's the frozen crumbly bits of flake and vermicelli that were on the top as decoration!
What they should do, is drop cans of beer into the 'snow' - then you'd have like alcoholic slushpuppy snowballs - much more fun to be hit in the gob by in a snowball fight. But never use cider, in case you pick up the wrong yellow snow - you don't want a golden hailstone in yer face!
Sky Trifle? Sky? Trifle? It's the future...
* LOSE 10 QI POINTS IF YOU WERE THINKING OF A CERTAIN FEBREEZE ADVERT...
