For in the crater devoted to obscure UK rip-offs of Japanese gameshows with Chis Sievey without his Pumpkin head, ukelele/banjo or Timperly accent, there be stellar chocolatey treats!
The Greybeards of NASA are forever releasing picures of the Martian Landscape to prove that there are no tripedal space monsters amassing their forces against Earth, but they do forget to edit out Certain Structures.
The lastest is The Log On Mars. The Mars Rover Opportunity Knocks, was meandering about the martian plains of Meridiani Planum, when it photographicated the Artifact.
A log, plain as plain can be! Sat there amongst the rocks like a sore thumb (or rather, like a LOG amonst some sand and rocks).
Of course, the greybeards refute this - logs on Mars! How ridiculous! It's clearly a simulacrum of a rock that just happens to look like a log, and not (as the popular press believe) a giant flake dropped by some Fellating Floozie Of The Gods*.
But wait... a flake is a chocolate confection! So is a chocolate log! And what do you find on logs? Only speckled frogs!!!
O-ho! And remember the Face On Mars? "It's only a rock that looks like a face" claims NASA after much tamperage with negatives. Hah! friend greybeard has been rumbled indeed, for clearly the Face On Mars is just the top bit of a giant Freddo bar!
And what about them Scientologists wot believe that mankind was created by a race of Space Monsters called Thetans... and what happens to Freddo bars - they get (th)eaten!!
Four little speckled frogs
Sat on a martian log
Eating a Cadbury's Wispa bar
Yum Yum!!
One jumped into the pool
But there was none there coz it was all barren and dry & the only water was frozen ice at the north & south poles so it ended up crackin it's noggin on the hard baked floor
Now there are just three specked frogs
Brrrp, brrrp
Chariots Of The Frogs** indeed...
*AN ERICH VON-DANIKEN REJECT
**ANOTHER ERICH VON-DANIKEN REJECT THAT WAS PROOF READ BY DAVID IKE, HENCE HIS OBSESSION WITH MARTIAN FROGS IN QUEEN LIZZY SUITS, MURDERIZING THE QUEEN OF TARTS WITH DODO FATHEAD.
