In order to cater for dwindling viewing numbers, Pig Botherer has always had some ludicrous ideas to pep up it's dull format. Outright fraud, race rows, and some haggard young trouts flopping their babs about like there's no tomorrow to draw in the crowds for about one episode, but what twist can galvanize the public?
Get shut of Dermot O'Leary, and replace him with some gobby arse troll who can't present for toffee! Damn! Didn't work... ah toffee!
Evict the chocolate!
Yes, there's now an ad where you can vote to evict chocolate! No more revelling in the pig bother snack sized packet of assorted treateries, for one has to go... but who goes?
YOU DECIDE!
And not Deicide, the death metal noise merchants.
So, up for eviction is The Minstrel, The Toadface Harsh, The Taunter of Shopping Centres, and The Big Black Guy With Magical Healing Powers. And you'd better decide quick, otherwise they'll ship you off to some Vietnamese hovelly shantytown shackery to play russian roulette, and if you get the caffiene hit it's off to the leech pens and the terrible laughter and the blowings up, an' suchlike.
Anyhew, once Davina has scoffed the lot (please do not sweat), we get a new 'packet'mate! We had that limited edition Biblical Crimes of Liotta, but what next in cocoa pleasure? Maybe a white chocolate owner of american self-service garages that service 1958 Plymouth Fury's?
Ooooh! Strawberries! In chocolate! Ladies doing the splits with bananas!!!!
And how come grannies keep calling themselves nannas? A Nana is sort for a banana! If I say I'm off to munch on a nana, I'm not off to perform an act of oral lovin' upon some septogenarians hairy pie! It's a banana!
Face it missus - your daughter has had a baby. The baby's a baby, your daughter is it's mother, therefore you are the babies Grand Mother. a Grand mother. Now, if you don't consider yourself to be all that grand, well don't put yourself down! Just don't call yourself a nanna because you'd rather be a fruit than a granny.
Although, you could be a granny pleasuring yourself with a nana, but that's just plain wrong.
Especially coz someone could slip on that banana skin and take a nasty tumble and claim compensation from InjuryLawyers4U. Beside, you don't want tarantulas eggs hatching up yer snatch and weaving webs about your womb.
Nannas indeed! Nanatoo bringing about nannageddon!
Wrinkled evil sucking the life from the youthful faces!
This is an outrage!!!!
