Texting someone, God knows who
Tip-tap-tapping, as you do
And puts me off my poo
Take him from the cubicle!
Stick pins into his cuticle!
Throw his phone into a crucible!
And melt the fucker down!
Talking loudly 'bout his plans
Whilst sitting firm upon the can
I hope that he will wash his hands
Coz I ain't having him do a coffee run with shitty fingers!
No lavatorial etiquette, these offshore people...
