Outrageous!
I gets summonsed from a Party to attend a darkened office in the dead of night, half expecting to be stalked by a maniacal masked killer throughout the floors & corridors in a kill-or-be-killed game of cat 'n' mouse. No sustenance provided, apart from my candyfloss flavoured liquor.
All the other people who came in on Sunday, in the daylight, got unlimited pizza and a bucket full of sweeties!
Unfair!
Luckily, our manager went off and snaffled a couple of handfuls for our team today, as we were somewhat left out. I got a mini pack of lovehearts.
Now, lovehearts are supposed to make you feel somewhat loved, by giving yourself sweeties with massages to feel less like a lonely single tub o' lard. So, I opened the packet and began to lavish praise upon myself.
It said 'Babe' on it.
Now, I've been out of the loop somewhat, and being a shy, porkery freakfaced munter, out of practice with complements, but this was uncalled for.
I mean, Babe was a Pig! Typical. Not even a packet of sweeties loves me!*
Maybe it is modern parlance, and comparing a Pretty to a Pig is the best introduction to one of these sexy sirens? Sex in the City? Babe II: Pig in the City, seems to be the order of the day!
Maybe I'll try that line out on some of the Hotties in Hades next time!
"Hey Pigface! My mate fancies you"...
* UNLESS... IT WAS THE BASSETS BAYOU RANGE OF LOVEHEARTS, IN WHICH BEING NOMINATED AS A PIG WOULD HAVE DIRE CONSEQUENCES! AH, THAT HUSSYS SONG NOW MAKES SENSE!
"BROTHER, SISTER, GIVE ME, GIVE ME DELIVERANCE"
"AH SURELY WILL CLEATUS! SAY, YOU GOT A PURTY MOUTH THERE BROTHER. nOW SQUEAL, PIGGY!"
