When you go to A&E, you'd expect they'd have the finest of fish with their needles out, a-threading you up (with special black cotton for the tinkle-on-me EMO's).
But no more! The any chess not longer darns your belly to keep yer innards in from falling out after post keboob knife culture menacement - apparently, they simply glue you up now!
I dunno about you, but if some hoody has pierced my portly podgetum, I don't want Dr Death slopping Copydex all over my wounds!
And as everyone knows, all Copydex is, is a mass of spunk jizzed into a bottle by some paedophiladelic Art Department faculty, with a dash of piss for that ammonia smell (have YOU ever encountered Copydex outside a school art lesson? I'll betcha haven't! It's all Bostick and LokTight out 'on da street'. That, and strange foreign glues from Pikeyland, for the discerning sniffer. Outrageous! Charging a pound for a stretcher in a Hospical!).
If they've got nurses rubbing pissysplodge to hold you together, it's no wonder the wards are rife with eCauliflowers and Emma's Essay!
If they're going to have all this pervosity on the NHS (a-haha, a-ha, ha ha, NHS is gonna rock ya), then they should at least kit out the nurses in them short PVC nursey outfits with the accented kle'varj and the big black boots....
In fact, why not make a clubnight out of it. Hospicals are so depressing,student nurses are always off on the piss, and the Dogturds and Sturgeons are all alchoholics, and the flahing ambulance lights are already there - just pump in some sub-woofter's bass and away you go!
Atmosfear? Open up a few cryogenic containers, get the dry ice flowing!
And you could CHARGE people to boogie amongst the bedridden! The Elf Service could run at a profit within weeks!
OK, so people die in hospicals - people die in pub bogs, so I can't see the difference! Or, as the French say, C'Difficile!
Superbugs, my arse! Have you seen caped carapaced arachnids with superstrength or titanium endoskeletons rampaging, through the wards, performing cesareans with their horrible mandibles and cowering away from the Crypt Tonight storage units?
Yay! Fetish night at the N&N!
