It's painful seeing these greybeards buggering up the planet, when if they'd just listen to me we'd be in a world of plenty.
There's all this whining about runnung out of fuel & manufacturing materials, not enough grub, no space to build and a rapidly reducing Green Belt.
Now, to me, the answer is simple.
Miniaturization!
Now, if it's OK for Rick Moronic to diminish the height of his offspring, or to dwarfify people in subs to travel through the bloodstream, why is it unacceptable to descale the vertical axis of the dominant intellectual species?
This would literally solve all of the worlds crisis in one stroke!
Being the size of an amoeba means that a front lawn becomes a tropical rainforest, a puddle becomes a lake, and we can do away with the Chunnel, as we'd domesticate worms, and get them to burrow our tunnels!
And then there's the abundance of food - at such a short height, an apple goes a long, long way! And imagine how many loaves you could get out of a single kernel of wheat!
And materials - how many bricks does a house need? You could build entire megacities out of one brick!
Metals - imaging how many nanocars you could build out of one car - and being so small, one tank of current size petrol could fuel a nanocar for several lifetimes!
Of course, you'd have to fend off Giant Spiders and Giant Ants and the like, but no-one one would starve or lack for shelter.
Although we could be a bit shafted if it rains too much. Or snows. Or the sun shines through the remainder of a carelessly dropped coke bottle and burns us all to cinders. Which could happen anyways, if the sun shines through an overly large spaceship windscreen and refracts a burny point of light onto us.
Of course, someone has to operate the shrinking machine, and would obviously be the last big person left alive, holding everyone to ransom under the threat of big boot treadment if the miniature minions do not accede to my every whim.
Bow down and worship me! For I am Ozzyosbourne, King of Rock, look upon my works ye unheighty and despair!
Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!
Gaaaah! London Bridge if falling down, and I am besieged by tiny Ash's! Not to mention Lilliputlian bondage sessions as I doze!
No - they greybeards are right! Take the Hunny Monster Shrunk The Skids Machine and cast it into the proton wielding black hole transdimensional portal time travelling wormhole generator!
Transperambulation of pseudo cosmic antimatter indeed!
