This bodes welll, a totally insane pretty on a train. Still, we arrive.
Enter within...
Ah, the smell of food... well, manky curry, mystery meat rice and cheese toasties. Hmmm, maybe later!
Bar!! HOW MUCH FOR A CAN OF STRONGBOW?!?!? Jeez...
Burlesque. Hmmmm. Put some life into it love! We're off to the trad goth room for some proper rockin'!
Must be here... nope. A fat nudie old castrati shuffling about. Maybe through here... nah, looks like a lot of 'specialist gym equipment'. No Trad Goth here...
Circulate again - have we missed the one room we came for... nope. But there's Rammstein playing, so I'll settle there for a bit and admire the pretties...
...which is somewhat flawed by the obscuration of the lovely ladies by detrousered chappies, and you don't want to sit there whist a parade of penises passes by...
Where's everyone gone? Circulate! Ah, there's some companions. And (according to the Stage Listing) the band came on 10 mins ago! Whooo! Let's go!
Ah, no band yet...
Back to the other room and Marilyn Manson and NiN then! I didn't really see what I thought I saw in the chill out area did I?... just keep walking.
Bar!! HOW MUCH FOR A CAN OF STRONGBOW?!?!? Jeez...
Ok, not Trad Goth, but some good music going on. Yay! Dance with the pretty Alice escapologist! Ah, here come the others! The band finally came on... and they're shit! I'll check 'em out... yep, they're shit. Back to growly EMO music then.
Food!!! HOW MUCH FOR... Oh, no food. Bugger.
Ah, time for the Main Show.
Note: Never invite a dwarf to hoover your house or change your strip lights.
Let's get back to the music room. Shuffle, sidle squeeze through the throng... ah, a space! Ewwww - never look around to get your bearings in a clear space!
Bar!! HOW MUCH FOR A CAN OF STRONGBOW?!?!? Jeez...
And we're back in the music. Dance dance dance.... Ohhh, Siobahn Fahey lookylikey in her Steven's Sibling period bedecked in PVC nunnery... ooooh, she keeps looking at me! Oooo, she's come over and started dancing alongside... ah, she's gone.
Oooh, she's back, and sat nearby... and she's gone again.
Sit down. Maybe she'll come back... Shame we weren't in Hades, as I'd've had a go at chatting her up!*
And hold up the Can Of Coke for photographication, to store forever what a £2 can of fizzy looks like!
Time to go home...
Oh, the tube is dead on weekends - get a bus to the the tube, says the placard!
Wait wait wait go the disgruntled would be tubesters. There be no bus for ages! Ah, but we can get a different bus to the train! Change stops!
And the other bus turns up, but you'd never know it until it passes by with a tiny card in the window.
So it's left to Xym to metaphysically determine that the coming bus turns into ours by sheer force of the will and the word. And lo, Xym spoke, and thus the bus became as per Xym's command.
And being the only one booked on the early train, the others go to gorge themselves on fried breakfasts and jacket spuds, whilst Xym is accosted by a somewhat less mad Michelle, worn out from Fabric conditioning.
Whatcha mean, I haven't got a train ticket? What's that then! Oh, these are only reservation tickets and not me train tickets. Last nights inspectorate said nowt. Oh, you'll let me off in case I put a spell on you?
Clearly the wearing of a purple velvet shirt makes people think I'm some sort of Evil Sorcerer!
Ah, back in the city and a fry-up off the market!
And home.
Need sleep now, but been awake too long and just not tired.
* HA HA HA HA LAUGH THE MYRIAD THRONG OF XYMON'S ACCQUANTANCES, AS IF XYM WOULD DARE SPEAK TO ANYONE HE HAD AN INTEREST IN!
