Empty BBQ by the main stage, Desolate
They haven't lit a charcoal briquette
Watch from the beer-tent bar
that Salford twat
Why pamper whims of Morrissey
When a chef's not allowed his packet of meat
I'd go and see his show
But I cannot buy a bacon roll
Now I know how Jean D'Arc felt when the smoke rose to her roman nose and it lacked that burgery scent.
Desperate to bag a top-name, the Lokerse Feesten festival in Belgium had banned meat for one day.
Yes, depressive lyricist of The Smiths,and soloist performer of the voice behind Bob The Builder (can we fist it?) has persuaded the organisers to enforce 24hr vegetarianism on the festival goers.
Hold on... this fezzie is in Belgium - you know Belgium... where all them eColi killer veg are!
Typical aminal rights activists - look after the cute aminals, but maim and murder humans! And with poisonous veg too! Bio-illogical Warfare!!
But wait - where did this idea that Morrissey is a militant vegetablist come from, when it's clear he's one of them there cannibals.
At the 2009 Coachella Festival, he famously lost control at the mouth-watering aroma, and ranted "I can smell burning flesh, and I hope to God it's human!"
Ha! So much for his vaunted Meat Is Murder stance, when he's publicly slavering, drooling and hoping for BBQ haunch of Long Pig after his performance!
Godlike Mancunian genius he might be, but I'm not having eColi cucumbers rammed up me bum whilst the two faced singer dines on grilled groupie gash, laughing at us denied the pleasures of the flesh.
Spit-roasted BBQ'd flesh, that is!
"Oh well, what difference does it make when there panic 'bout the meat at festivals."
"Sweetness - I was only joking when I said I'd like to ram a beefsteak down your neck"Now I know how Jean D'Arc felt when the smoke rose to her roman nose and it lacked that burgery scent.
Desperate to bag a top-name, the Lokerse Feesten festival in Belgium had banned meat for one day.
Yes, depressive lyricist of The Smiths,and soloist performer of the voice behind Bob The Builder (can we fist it?) has persuaded the organisers to enforce 24hr vegetarianism on the festival goers.
Hold on... this fezzie is in Belgium - you know Belgium... where all them eColi killer veg are!
Typical aminal rights activists - look after the cute aminals, but maim and murder humans! And with poisonous veg too! Bio-illogical Warfare!!
But wait - where did this idea that Morrissey is a militant vegetablist come from, when it's clear he's one of them there cannibals.
At the 2009 Coachella Festival, he famously lost control at the mouth-watering aroma, and ranted "I can smell burning flesh, and I hope to God it's human!"
Ha! So much for his vaunted Meat Is Murder stance, when he's publicly slavering, drooling and hoping for BBQ haunch of Long Pig after his performance!
Godlike Mancunian genius he might be, but I'm not having eColi cucumbers rammed up me bum whilst the two faced singer dines on grilled groupie gash, laughing at us denied the pleasures of the flesh.
Spit-roasted BBQ'd flesh, that is!
"Oh well, what difference does it make when there panic 'bout the meat at festivals."
"Oh, shut yer gob, how can you say I barbecue ribs the wrong way*?"
"Girlfiend - in the kitchen! Sheila, take a bap (and shove a quarter-pounder in it)"
"There is a light that never goes out"
"You dozy mare - the light goes off automatically once the sausage rolls are done and you turn the oven off"
* I'M GARY NUMAN AND I NEED TO BE LOVED. JUST LIKE AMY WINEHOUSE DOES
