As if my abhorrent troll visage wasn't enough to make the Pretties "run for Hell like hair and hide", it looks like even them match.cum type datey thingies are clamping down on The Ugly.
Yep - Dating websites are not allowing those that are less visually appealing.
Although, judging by recent promo photographical representation of their preferred pretties, visually appalling is more the norm, featuring, as it does, a gerenicity of munterescent mingers.
But what's this - hulking humpty-backed heroes, vile of visage have hacked the beautiful people site, and flooded it with everyday Uruk-Hai and goblins, all ready to date the allegedly 'pretty' princesses.
But alas for me, the Adonis and Affrotiedyes of The Fashionista have fought back, banning the gorgeously challenged, and casting us out to Desolation Reef.
And they had the cheek to apologize to the feral kobols! "Sorry you were accepted onto our dating site, but U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi - YOU UGLY! Now feck off - you're banished into the wilderness of eternal solitude, where no Pretty can gaze upon your visage and be repelled into sickness by the rancid features you possess."
Of course, what can one expect from such a shallow website - do they not like old movies, like Godfaver Three?
No, they probably like X-Factor, Friends, Made In Essex and Geordie Whore. Any mind-numbingly dumbed-down show bereft of any intelligence and originality.
I'm sure there must be a discrimination law against allowing us lardy, squallid ruins of humanity to be tossed off dating sites based on our visual disability.
Oh well, not that I've ever used a dating site - but I sure won't now. As long as I have my friends, some shades to hide behind, and a bevvy of beauties parading before my lecherous gaze and agitating my extremities, I'm happy!
Be happier if the parading Pretties had a penchant for short, fat, ugly Gothgits with preposterous hair, ludicrous shades, flickering fingers and the candyfloss scent of Thierry Mugler A*Men arising from his globulous, sweaty, flouncy dancing bod.
But you can't have everything!
