Maritime maruaders off the cornish coast munching their way through pastie and cream tea filled fisherfolk!
It would seem that an Oceanic Whitetip Shark has returned from it's pop tour of Sharm-El-Sheik*, where it's stuffed it's great fat belly fully of belly dancing babes, Arabian Knights and Boots Mayonnaise slavvered strumpets on holiday.
And being used to devouring the drugged up kidnapped white harems of them Turkish Delight scimitar slicers, it's gone to the British equivalent.
St Ives! Where men have seven wives (each bearing seven sacks, each containing seven pussies. Which is more of an Ed Gein thing if you ask me. Snipped up scrotepurses filled with flanges - bet they also have seven belts with seven nipples too! Which is probably more of a Scaramanga thing. Although I thought Manga was all Japanesey cartoons. Although I have heard it's all tentacle porn and panty flashing schoolgirls, and not triple nipple people).
Anyhoo, the ancient anglers of Cornwall are finding themselves being rammed right up the poop deck by aquatic aggressors hell-bent on chomping them to death for tea.
Naturally, them Hooper type marine biologists are pooh-poohing the idea.
In which case, they should cease their defacatory actions, wipe their bot, flush the pooh-pooh away and get one with catching the killer shark.
Of course, they could be right, and it may not be the consumer of human eastern promise they think. I saw on of the documentaries on the tellybox last night, and there was something ramming the boats in a Louisiana swamp.
Turned out to be a cloned reptilian plesiosaurus run amok, after the genetic experiments of the mad scientist and the three local yokels went awry.
And them gals weren't "pleased he saw us" - especially as it was on the munch for manflesh. Not to mention the bloke from Scary Movie .
So I won't.
There's Camelegg banging on about how The Military know nothing, and should do as he says, yet when there's monstrous prehistoric beasties feeding on Tourists about the Cornish coast - he's all mouth and no trousers.
You'd think he could blag a pair on the old expenses! I for one don't want our PM addressing the nation in his undercrackers.
Caroline Flint, maybe.
But not Dianne Abbott
♫ ♪ SHARM-EL-SHEIK
SHARM-EL-SHEIK
SHEIK YOUR BOOTEH
SHEIK YOUR BOOTEH! ♪♫
