"Wot they eye can't see, the chef gets away with!" quoth Terry the Chef in Fawlty Towers.
And more true is The poncier something sounds, the more you can palm off on the gullible gourmet.
The 2 prime examples of this are Steak Tartare (= Couldn't be arsed to cook it) and Al Dente pasta-kutchie-on-de-left-hand-side (= Couldn't be arsed to wait long enough for it to cook properly).
Not to mention dried up vomit compressed into wedge shapes and calling it Parmesan Cheese.
But the worse example of this cookery conspiracy is the "crème fraîche".
Crème fraîche my best hat! What does crème fraîche sound like? Suspiciously like Fresh cream. Looks it up in the Oohlalaxford English dick shun Harry. Yep - crème fraîche is indeed Fresh Cream.
But it ain't fresh cream, at all. It's sour cream.
In other words, cream what's gone off. Urgh.
And gullible gastrognomes lap it up!
Like kittens from a bowl. Probably.
I think I may have spotted a gap in the marketplace! I'm gonna bung a pint of milk and a loaf of bread on the kitchen counter. Then, when it goes off - hey presto! Lait fraîche and Pain fraîche!
Sour milk and mouldy bread - and Greg Wallace and Gromit Torode will love it, coz it's got a poncey french name!
"Mmmm! Cracking pudding de pain fraîche et de beurre fraîche, eh Gromit! Pass me some of that Crème Anglais. Nowt like a nice bit of Englishman's cream with yer pud. Let's hope it's custard, and not some pud-pullers smegma fraîche helmet cheese. Although we do like a bit of cheese, don't we, old pal."
