I dunno about you, but I have driven past Stonehenge in a coach, and let me tell you, cyclopean is not exactly how I'd describe it!
To me, cyclopean masonry is towering blocks of hewn rock, rising high to near impossible heights. All obscure angles and a vexation as to how these monolithic walls could be constructed.
Stonehenge is a shed made from matchsticks in comparison!
So, cyclopean is ain't. But what is it? Well, them druidy types will tell you it's a sacred site that heralds the new gold dawn upon solstice and equinox, meaning they have to perform a blood sacrifice. Probably burning southern Louisiana plantation workers, whilst dolled up in their druidic robes. Druidic robes my arse - that's a Klan outfit, if ever there was one in the UK!
Of course, that theory has a lot going for it - as long as you stand in just the right position to get the correct stellar and solar alignments.
Others will tell you it's a supercomputer - which is bollocks, coz if it were, there would be an early version of Atik Atak or PacMan running on it. And porn. Although people go up there and nob a lot in some "fertility rite" (or "dogging" as it's now known).
Still more others will tell you it's a landing pad for the landing craft of space monsters, with the now legendary circular saucer shape precariously balancing on the top of the stone circle.
And then there are those with sense, who reckon it's a load of early scaffolding for the construction of some crude rude hut*. Trouble was, like modern day builders, Cro-Magnon Chippie started the job, then has pressing Business Elsewhere, meaning the scaffolding remained awaiting their return.
They really need a time machine to send Matt Alwright back for Stone Age Rogue Traders, sticking pins in their voodoo childs and washing on oz soaps.
Baby, Baby, Babaaaaaaaaay
Sacrifice it on the stone altar to Baphomet!
Cyclopean indeed! 12in tall with cantering cyclopean shortarses, more like!
* PROBABLY A BROTHEL, BEING BOTH CRUDE AND VERY RUDE INDEED.
