It has been reported that this last bastion (bastard?) of entertainment is to cease his Norwich Performances outside Primark!
And some are pleased at the removal of the creepy old scrote from our streets!
It seems that he can't make enough cash In Norwich, so he's off to entertain young ladies in Londinium for a while before relaunching the Puppet Spectacular in Great Y'ha-nthlei, where there's a more appreciative audience (being web-fingered gormsters doused full of seaside Moonshine).
I, for one, especially took the time to see this final Tour-De-Force of entertainment, and was dismayed by the lack of a Sexy-Dave hat. Actually, his name is Dave Perry - and Perry is pear cider. Hmmm... Interesting!
I am contemplating replacing the position - after all, how hard can wobbling a sock about be? I just need to nip down ca$h converters to see if they got a karaoke machine in a pram first.
And an Elvis Wig.
On the plus side - I now have an excuse to lech at Naomi "Finger Tips" Wilkinson and Kirsten "SmArt" O'Brien on the pretext of trying to find out how to make a sock puppet of the calibre of Sexy Dave's. And Caliber is also the name of a lager/beer! Hmmmm... Interesting again!
And there's probably nowt better than to guzzle Perry* and Caliber whilst watching Presenter Pretties in your pants** on a Sat/Sun morn.
Or something.
* THE CIDER, NOT THE DAVE. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE GIVING ORAL PLEASURE TO SOME RANCID OLD FART OF A WEEKEND MORNING. UNLESS SOME LADY HAS A PENCHANT FOR URINE-STENCHED LOONS DANGLING THEIR PROWESS ON A STRING...
** I DON'T MEAN NAOMI & KIRSTEN IN MY PANTS. OBVIOUSLY, I MEANT ME, IN MY PANTS, WATCHING TELLY. ALTHOUGH, I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY, I'D MUCH RATHER BE IN THE PRESENTER PRETTIES PANTS, RATHER THAN WAITING FOR REPEATS OF SCRAPHEAP CHALLENGE OR FORMULA 1 TO START. THAT SAID, IT WOULD NEVER DO TO BE BOFFING NAOMI, OR UP TO ME PLUMS IN O'BRIEN IF THERE WAS A SUDDEN SURPRISE VISIT BY PURRRRRFECT PRETTIES***. UNLESS, OF COURSE, THEY WANT TO INDULGE IN A BIT OF 'SMART FINGER TIP' ACTION WITH THE ANGELIC ARTISTS.
OR SOMETHING...
*** BAD ENOUGH IF YOU'RE AWOKEN BY SAID PRETTY IN YOUR PJS AND A DRESSING DOWN, LET ALONE ON THE JOB WITH BABES OFF THE BOX. BURIED DEEP IN THEIR BOX. OR SOMETHING.
