I want to break wind
I want to break wind this one time
On this starting line
I don't need two (hundred metre sprint with extra thrust gas)
Thanks to the Baywatch Oiled Limp Pigs, there seems to be a rash of Sporticus activity going on. It's seems that the pink pop princess and her muscular paeodophile have inspired the world of music and sport to collide.
And what better musicallity is there, than the music of Queen!
And in homage to the greatest queen of all, adverts galore are cashing in by having their athletic types sporting the now legendary Freddie Mercury 'tash.
From Superstars to Go Free with Daily Thompson* there are people of all ages and genders balancing the infamous hairy slug atop their lips.
Exactly how donning a bushy lipwig makes you excel at sports I am yet to learn. Obviously, the wearing of a skin tight lycra onepiece is already the fashion for them gymnasts, but I can't see them strutting up and down the beam with a relay baton in the hand, belting out "Radio Ga Ga" for a gold medal.
Great fat arsed wenches may well make the rocking world go rumble as the earth quakes under their vast tonnage as they lumber across the earth, but it won't get them beating the drugged addled skeletors in the 100m hurdles.
But by far the best application of the FMT is the inspired usage of said facial foliage to distinguish between The Narrator and The Narrator's Brother in Timmy's WotW. 'tash on - Narrator, 'tash off - Brother! You'd never know they were related:
And on that note, I shall leave you with last pure Freddie pose from War of the Worlds - shame you can't see below the water, where he's holding his Mike at a jaunty angle and Striking The Pose. You can just imagine him there in the water, bellowing out a stream of random notes for the fleeing throng to chant back at him.
Adversity in the face of death by martian tripods - that's what makes us British... well, British, I guess!
Is this the real life, or is this just Battersea...
* WHICH APPEARS TO BE GETTING HEALTHY BY STUFFING YOUR FACE FULL OF CEREAL, CHOCOLATE, HOT DOGS AND FRUIT GUMS. OH, AND YOU GET A VOUCHER FOR A FREE SPORTS SESSION. YEAH, LIKE, YOU'RE GONNA PIG OUT ON MILKY BAR BUTTONS, THEN GO FOR A RIGOUROUS FREE GOLFING SESSION TO BURN IT OFF!!
