Deep in the Peruvian rainforests, there is much to wonder at. Cyclopean masonry and Sun Gates abound, as well as marmalade munchings by the local ursine population.
Eric Van Dine Again wrote this book about it - Chariots of the Jogs. Seems that "way back then" these space monsters invaded the rainforests, much like Predator. However, the local yokels had yet to invent the now legendary General Electric Minigun, so the Olde Gods settle in a bit and took to the excercise to pass the time.
Of course, Macho Picakchu isn't exactly the best olympian site, so they relocated to Nazca. There are those greybeards (of the mental persuasion) who claim that there are many lines at Nazca, forming the shapes of aminals - humingbirds, monkeys, piedahs and the like.
Friend greybeard now weeps into his foolish follicle chin tresses, for it's clear to anyone that the lines are a circuit track, well worn into the sandy surface of the plains.
The modern runing track is ovoid in shape - which is dead boring, and not exactly challenging. These ancient athletes pushed themselves to the limit - instead of a constant slow circular route, they took sharp bends, long straights, doubling back, and pushing each other onto the Nazcan equivalent of the Cerne Abbas Giant's shlong.
Not unlike Formula 1!
But now, all these space athletes have gone. Deported back to the Outer Spheres for doping themselves up and spit roasting the gymnasts (literally, for there was not much to eat back then, apart from coconuts and cans of Lilt)
All that's left if their Olympian circuits, and a bevvy of beautiful warrior women. Bereft of their intergalactic love missile F1-11s, they sit in tropical bliss, drinking Um Bongo, slapping on each others busoms for bongos to accompany the singing the Iko Iko song, and order impractical daywear from Littlewoods.
Imagine some face painted Amazonian goddess leaping out of a bush, spear in hand, all bedecked in a scanty flouncy mini-skirt and a Bench crop-top, leaping on top of a wild bore and wrestling it to the ground...
Hold on, that's Booze Britain CCTV on More4 on a Saturday night...
