I've just seen this advert for Santa Dares, and apparently, the ever popular youthful F1 driver Linda Hamilton is naught but an airfix kit!
Now, I'm all for bunging Leona in a high powered Malcom and firing her into the concrete walls of a grand prix circuit, but surely using painted plastic peoples with decals stuck on their belly smacks of cheating!
I doubt very much that Mattel have created make-em-yourself drivers in a Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 realistic stylee to drive about at umpteen miles an hour, so I recken they've got some hidden remote control going on, and getting extra speed by having an empty blow up dolly in the driving seat!
Not only that, from the scales on the tellybox, Louis is a pygmy! Either that, or he's having his make up put on by the 50ft woman!
And I don't mean the Bhudda of the Western Paradise, with Great Sage (Equal of Heaven) piss all over her fingers!
You know how you get "official this" and "official that" of various events (eg Scrumpy Jack, Official Cider of the England Cricket Team, etc), well, it seems the Baywatch Olympics have an official opera!
Official opera! And not just any old opera - Damon AllBran has done a Grilliaz stylee version of Wu Chêng-ên's Journey To The West.
Or Monkey! to thems not as educated as me!
Although if them dirty old sneak Chinese think they're going to win medals by sneaking in simian types using golden clasped wishing staffs from the underwater lairs of the Dragon Kings in the pole vault, they've got another thing coming!
I'll challenge Pigsy to the pastry eating competition though...
Ah, pretty lady!!!
