Rachel the Wastrel was advised not to do the dishes "at her own peril", which left her somewhat nonplussed.
After leaving the dairy room and puzzling over it, she had to ask other housemates what Peril means.
WHAT?!?!
And some of the others were a bit stuck to explain!!
Now, I'm wondering about this peril they're putting in - a new housemate called Beryl perhaps? Ah, no - look at them opening titles... shadowy white masked figure lurking about the shadows in a menacing fashion - the 'eye' logo made up of shards of broken mirror... or knife blades???
To my mind, there's only one white masked murderous shadowy figure with a penchant for slicery-uppy kitchen utensils, and that's Mike Myers, star of Waynes World and Steve Austin's Bionic Powers.
Wait a minute... reality TV contestants, locked in a house with Mikey Myers doing a death to all and sundry on live telly... I make that Pimms o'clock! Not to mention the plot of Halloween: Resurrection, sequel to Halloween:HTwenty*!
Yikes, the blind boy is gonna embark the now legendary Killing Spree, leaving a Trail Of Destruction in his wake. All to win a measly 100K. Well, If we're gonna have a trail of mutilated bodies, I think we (as viewers) should be entitled to have the obligatory masses of gratuitous sex and violence, as well as the final rooftop showdown. Although it doesn't come cheap.
Ah, but how would Lazlo Woodbine** corner the killer in the house, for in the house there is no office where clients meet him, no bar to talk toot with the barman, nor an alleyway (with retractable ladder at base of fire escape) where people get killed. Let alone an actual rooftop.
But stuff Laz coming to get The Killer- how come Davina always bellows "Say you're goodbyes... I'm coming to get you!" - when she doesn't! She stands there flouncing her freshly dyed hair that she's always on the phone to her mum about, and lets them come to her! Bloody bone idle trollop gurning into camera, can't even be arsed to go and get the housemates herself!
Then again, can't blame her, for who'd want to enter the Pig Botherer house where Death Stalks in a Blind Man's Mask***
* THERE ARE SOME GORMSTERS THAT INSIST ON CALLING IT HALLOWEEN: AITCH TWO OH, FORGETTING THAT THE 2O IS ACTUALLY 20, BEING TWENTY YEARS LATER, AND H2O IS ACTUALLY WATER, AND THERE'S NO UNDERWATERY SHENANNIGANS IN THIS MOVE. ANTIDILUVIAN ANTICS ARE BEST LEFT TO JASON VORHEES, COZ HE CAN BREATH UNDERWATER. AND IN SPACE. IF ANYTHING, IT'S AITCH TWO ZERO - NOT OH.
** SOME CALL HIM LAZ:
"CAN'T GET ENOUGH STUFF,
DON'T WANT NO ROUGH STUFF
NO SUGAR PUFF STUFF
DIVIN' INTO MUFF STUFF
JUST WANT YOU TO GIMME SOME OF THAT GOOD STUFF, PLEASE"
*** A LAZLO WOODBINE THRILLER (ALTHOUGH NOT A LEGITIMATE ONE.)
