Well, my car insurance is up for renewal next month, and I'm a tad swayed by them tellybox commercials!
Seems that Churchill is offering a free WeatherTart with every policy! Not only that, there's a stipulation in the clauses that means the madame from the met office has to lie there feeding you sausages like some roman Bacchus!
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Now, there may be some who'll not take kindly to having Sian Lloyd and Ulrika Jonnson lounging about the Chaise Longue saucily poking bratwurst at you, but I'm sure there's something for The Ladies.
Fred Talbot perhaps. In a toga, instead of a pullover. Or perhaps they can get you a totally different Kettley of Fish - feeding you their fishery fingers and blowing off like a hurricaine in the bedroom.
Think I'll have to take out a loan, and get a free Carol Phwoarrderman as well. Although I think I'll pass on the Over 50 plan - apart from being too young, I'm not having that Gloria Hunnymonster littering up the living room.
Ah, but if it was her lovely daughter Caron in 1987, it's be a completely different matter! Oh, the irony, there's her mum flogging You're-Gonna-Die (no questions asked) Insurance, and the Blue Peter babe turned blue before she got a chance for her mum to flog her one.
Still, given half the chance, I wouldn't mind "flogging her one".
Although not now, due to the advanced state of cancerous decay...
