Oft have I been in a public house, or nightclub, and been in the vicinity of rancid young bucks and wanton young trollops, choking me with their perfumery, clouding the air like some phantasmagoric miasma.
But gasping as Kylie or Mambo No.5 slips up yer passageways is much more prefereable than your nostrils being assailed whilst you guzzle down scented womans latte!
For our young minx in our Coffee Shop has started to douse herself with bottles of the stuff instead of showering! You gets your coffee and toast (yum yum!), and whats happens? She’s only gone and pressed the plastic lid onto your coffe cup!
Now, I’m all for these baby beaker type beverage containers, for it means less spillage. However, by putting on the lid and handling the cardboardy cup, she also impregnates the lot with her aromatherapy! My vanilla latte now smells like the proverbial tarts tights in a handbag! And the taste - hooo-eeee! Don’t need to snog her now, for I know exactly how she tastes!
Unfortunately, by handling the mug and sipping at it, me hands and soupcatcher niff like a whores drawers - and there’d be hell to pay if I had a girlfriend, going home whiffing like some soupkitchen strumpet! Like someone’s gonna believe that I reek of Hot Chix, just from sipping coffee - it won’t be bacon baps I’ll be accused of fiddling with in the canteen!
Not to mention the scent seeping into the toast.
Still, I guess I can’t complain. It’s not every day I get coated in a lovely ladies liquid...
