Cor, there be a world of difference between an inflating matress on a sofabed and a memory foam matress on a proper bed!
And them foamy things exude heat like nobody’s business!! Although that is a rather strange analogy, for if someone’s done their business on my bed, then nobody couldn’t have done it. If no-one’s there, then no-one can do the business, therefore no-one’s business is non-existant! But if someone is doing their business on me bed, I wanna know why, coz defecation on the duvet is not nice.
Therefore, my matress must exude heat like someone’s business - although I’m not going around ole Gill McKeith’s and asking her to take turdal temperatures to compare the heat from some lard-diet’s business with a matress.
Suffice to say, memory form is lovely and snug - and it moulds to your body! If you’re VERY quick, you could get up, lob some plaster of paris into the depression, and hey presto - a full body mould! Only problem is you got about 10 seconds before it reverts to solidity and you lose the shape.
It’s be even better if they got one of them beds o’ nails like them fakirs have, and make it into one of them pin sculpture type efforts like wot they sell in Hawkins Bizarre. Not only would you get a perfect body shape, but it would be like acupuncture when you sleep!
Acupuncture indeed!! You know where that word came from, it’s coz someone popped when pricked with a pricky pin, and went "Ack!" and the oriental pinhead replied with "You puncture?". Easy weight loss - puncture that spare tyre round my waistline!
I doan wanna be punctured - It’s be ’orrible to sit there, leaking air like some prolonged flatulence.
Actually, I tell a bit of a fib there! The real origin of acupuncture came from A Q puncture, coz a ’Q’ looks like a balloon being punctured with a needle, or someone’s noggin upside down with a needle popped in to let the imps out in a miniature trepanning session.
And that’s true, that is!
