Many folk seem to be taking a tumble these days with them there inadequately grounded paving slabs in pedestrianised areas. This results in wodges of compensatory cash from the porker pie man and the kickboxing trollop.
Now, due to the dullness of light upon leaving work, I hit upon a fab new idea: Why not replace the paving stones with them touch sensitive malarkies! How cool would that be, mincing down Gentlemen's Walk with the floor lighting you up with every move, as you take a spin, grab yer crotch and strike a pose up against the fish stall.
You have to be careful though, of the betrenchcoated private dick, lurking behind the lampost and photographicating you through The Daily Jugs with the Ladylumps cut out for eyeholes so he can spy on you.
Then again, if he's in the city, he's not so much a private dick, more public dick, and that's indecent exposure
that is!
On the plus side though, as all the lovely ladies flounce over the lightboxes, they'll be all lit up from below like some goddess, with the light shining through their light summer frocks like the now legendary photo of the Queen of Tarts, Princess Die.
Even better - once you've got the gist of Wacko Jacko's moves, you could replace the lightboxes with them Playstation Dance Mats! They'd be cheaper than touch sensitive lightboxes, AND you can dance about on them. It'll give the Puppet Man a whole new edge to his act!
Ah, if only the Puppet Man had a Dance Mat when performing last Saturday's redition of Tom Jones' cover of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy'...
