Yay! I'm having a bed delivered tomorrow! No more inflateable sofa bed for me!! After 2 years, I can sleep on a matress onna frame!!
Trouble is, I decided to start sorting the rooms out, now that the main bedroom's become free, and I spent ALL DAY yesterday trying to sort it out.
But another of them mystical forces crept in... for it seems moving from one bedroom to another generates a never-ending möbius loop of tasks!
You start off one thing, then in the midst of that, you can't get any further coz something else needs doing first, and as you're doing that, you need to do something else to get any further, and as you get on with that...
Basically, the universe will organise itself so that the simple concept of moving from one bedroom into another means that every room in the house is upturned with stuff everywhere!
And how come the Noo-Noo seems to always be right where you are, tripping you up, causing you to lose your slipper and stand on an upturned plug? And no matter how much you shift them out of the way they always come back for more!
On top of all that, replication takes place at a frightening rate! How many empty CD cases can I possibly rack up? How much stuff have bought that could possibly justify that many cardboard boxes? Not to mention sweetie wrappers, receipts, and numberous cables!
Cables! They're the worst of the lot! Surely if I have connector cables, they should be connecting something?
I reckon it's that stamp gnome's latest hobby. Nip down Poundland and buy random sets of AV connectors and suchlike, and strew them about the place, forcing you to ponder if you bought them, and why.
And the little feckers knows exactly how to mess with your mind, for he'll place all these cables about, but the one you really need and know you have somewhere he'll place in some parallel dimension so you can't get yout hands on it. In addition, he'll wait until you buy one, or get a unit with incompable connectors before he puts it somewhere for you to find.
And at the end of it all, every room now seems to have much more stuff in it. And this is most perplexing when you look down at the numerous sacks of stuff you're chucking out - and this seems to become another immutable law of the universe:
The volume of the contents of a room will increase by a greater proportion to compensate for the loss of volume removed from that room.
Hence the inevitable "Christ, I didn't realise we/I had so much stuff". The truth is, you didn't. Evil entities from another dimension play with your mind, making you think you had all this stuff before. In reality, they've frozen time, opened a trans-dimenstional portal, bunged a load of crap about, brainwashed you into thinking you always had it, then jumping back to their own parallel universe before unfreezing time with a maniacal giggle.
So, no matter how much stuff you chuck, there will alway be more in the room than there was before.
With a hoover lurking right outside to trip you up!
